He Just Wants Me

Over the last few weeks I have been in this place that has resulted in the little prayers of my heart being small cries of longing to experience the presence of the Lord.  Some of them I've shared, a few of them have just been reserved between me and God.  I've had some disciplines set in place, goals to try and achieve in various areas of my life to develop this place I've been at.  Some of these have worked, others have not.  Now I'm the type of person who can make a lot of decisions based on my feelings of accomplishment, I'm not necessarily bothered by that.  Goals are just one of the ways I am motivated.  So that is bit of an insight into some of my inner workings.

So that would be an overview of the more recent past, but something is happening...something good.

If there is anything that has been coming to me over these last weeks and months it has been the theme of "the Love of God".  And the contention point that has come up through this theme has been this...that I could hear the, "I love you" of God whenever He is speaking it.   If there is one thing that I am continually being convinced concerning our human make up it is that we crave leadership and love from a source other than ourselves.  We can often hold a very low opinion of ourselves by our awareness of our own short-comings.   Thus we will at times notoriously seek for the affirmation of another.  That a spouse, a friend, a leader, an institution, creed or religious choices would validate us and give some statement of intricate worth.  Now obviously this can become very selfish and sinful, but I believe the desire is not sinful at all.  That we are made by God to love and be loved deeply and continually.  And here is why... because God Himself is Love and we were made in His image.  Thus what God longs for we bear those same longings.  Our bodies are not the only resemblance to His person, but also our emotions, hungers and desires as well.

"...and we have known and believed the love that God has for us.  God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.  Love has been perfected among us in this:  that we may have boldness in the day of judgement; because as He is, so are we in this world.  There is no fear in love: but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment."  - 1 John 4:16-18

Now here is the bread and butter of what I've felt the stirrings of the Lord in my heart over... He just wants me.  If all of the above is true, meaning that I'm made to long for affirmation and love from another.  And that I bear a holy resemblance to God Himself...His expectations are much different than I may have first thought.  I was wanting to have trophies of my dedication and work so that Jesus and I would have something to talk about when He wanted to tell me how proud He was of me.  (Hmm...)  The unfortunate part was all of that "dream action plan" entirely relies on my ability to produce results.  But if I double check the verse above God isn't results.  He is love.  Maybe more than my achievements, he's after a work of love inside of me that is actually a mirror reflection of Him.  Now lets not dive off the end of saying that the works have no eternal or current value (See the latter half of James 2).  But God wants me.  I can't imagine my earthly dad (who loves me tons) would want all my championship trophies of all my life, over just having me in the same room with an open heart to him.  How much more God Himself who loves perfectly?

All of the fear of failure, loss, rejection suddenly falls very quickly to the wayside.  He is just looking for my attention, my heart to be on Him.  All of the disciplines, trophies and even failed attempts are now not items (and I'm talking about the spiritual stuff too!).  They're gifts of love to Him.  I may have reached without perceived success, but I still give myself to Him or to what I felt I was called to do.  Our value can't be found in these things.  They pass, they break, they become obsolete to the present, but love...it is a force to be reckoned with that never grows irrelevant.

We satisfy God's joy by having our heart turned towards Him.  This is how He teaches us obedience.  When we touch the fact that we are treasures to Him, He becomes a treasure to us and we seek out the ways of His righteousness to grow in love.

I am not becoming a man fully capable of any situation in life and calling.  That is quite secondary on God's agenda.  I am called to be son with eyes that meets the gaze of my Savior.

"...you have ravished My heart with one look of your eyes..." 

- Songs 4:9

God Loves to be Found

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."  - Matt. 5:6

I have this phrase, "God loves to be found..." that has just been washing over my heart these last few days and I felt like it is something worth sharing.  I have to admit, I have tried to be one of those guys who can really get himself organized and focused on developing long-term plans of how I am going to walk out my study life with the Word, goals in prayer, etc.  Well as of the last week or all of that beautiful planning and preparing of the perfect environment to pull off all of those glorious plans has just been blown out of the water...and for good reason I believe.

There are these times that comes along where you walk out a season of life and you have your lists, your plans your intentions of the future, but something is missing.  Everything feels very well aimed and guided, except for...something.  There's a gnawing, we know it, it's down there somewhere...and it's hungry, it's thirsty for something more.

Really this post is nothing more that misery loves company, but in a more holy way perhaps.  God is checking me/us.  It's a pause in the path that He has set aside to come, not in a different direction, but rather deeper into what we've sometimes already claimed to know.  It's an offering from Him to remember, to look back, to return; not because we're backslidden, but maybe because I've slid back in some areas.  At times like these answers are no good, encounter is the only way up and over the wall of distance that seems to stand in the way.  I can't say that I have ever yet encountered another way to overcome this dilemma of internal turmoil.

I feel that I need not words, but rather prayers, pleadings attached to hunger and grace.  Not to pull down some anointed experience, but rather to draw on the One who has loved my soul before I could ever try to earn it back with performance and striving.  I lean to the everlasting arms of Jesus to be the Finisher of my life. The One who will take me to the depths, just as He will the lengths of my life.   These thoughts are really the ramblings of my hunger, but even more so my prayers.  I hope you feel encouraged by them as we reach for what we can't feel or touch to change our lives forever, the only living God.

There's Nothing Wrong with a Trial

Not to sound masochistic or anything, but there really is nothing wrong with being tried. Most times we duck and dodge anything that would threaten to cause us or the ones we love pain. The human response will always make a wide birth for avoiding injury. But all of that aside, someway some how we are eventually confronted with our weakness, lack or totally side-swiped by unplanned crisises.

All of the questions come up: Why? What have I done to deserve this? Where is God? Why can't I escape this? We feel closed in a room that few others can enter. No one's saving us from the circumstances or the pain. Few can. And those that could are somehow disconnected from all that's going on. Faith and resources feel faltering.

I defer to James:
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." - James 1:2-4

We do not throw our pain, suffering, needs or persecution aside. We ask for the face of God. Our journey of faith is one of revelation; the revelation of God Himself. Our faith must have a place to experienced and our pride executed. Our journey in affliction isn't one of mutilation and debasement before God so He makes things better. He wants my whole heart. He wants to place devotion for Him in the deep wells of my heart in ways that it hasn't been before. We never have a time to experience the greatness of His power unless we willingly (or unwillingly) run out of our own. And our time are these present moments.

My friends, we have not been tricked into faith and then realized it was a prison leaving us to only remember the past or fantasize about the future. We have been given moments to meet with God like we never have. This is how we receive holy hunger. Our faith is to be tested so that we can learn longing with joy like never before. This is where we set our faith.

Hunger = The gift of God

Sometimes there is no worse than being hungry and surrounded by the most appetizing things and yet unable to partake of any of it. It's the torturous feeling you get while you sit in a restaurant waiting for your food and everyone else's goes sizzling by you. Leaving you only with the sights and sounds of something delicious not intended for you. Ok...now that you are reliving that moment...hold that thought.

In Song of Songs at the beginning of chapter 3 we find a bride who has enjoyed the great abundance and luxury of the king, but now is invited off of the mountains outside of her home of comfort she and her King have shared. He doesn't shout at her to come to these hills and mountains, but instead He speaks to her about how things are actually a ton more delightful with Him than she even knows yet. He is aware that she is not mature yet in her devotion. She loves Him. She loves wonderful qualities that He gives so freely for her to experience. But her picture of Him is not yet whole. He knows that. And He has a plan... He is going to leave. (Sound familiar?)

Let's bring this up close and personal to us now.

Jesus does not use some sadistic form of absence to punish us. He has something He wants us to see about Him that our perspective wont currently allow. He wants us to experience the victory of His overcoming. That He truly is our only hope and satisfaction in life. He wants to be precious to us, not simply convienent. He calls us forward by letting the sting of divine hunger drive us to a place we wouldn't go otherwise. This is His gift to us to overcome the fears, insecurities, disappointments, the list goes on that have kept us from standing up in some areas. Now again, He is looking at us like the Song of Songs bride...she's immature, but beautiful to Him. He won't bark at His wife, but instead will call her to be His partner in what He is wanting to do. We have been joined to Bridegroom that has an agenda, an assignment He has to do in all of creation...redemption. But He wants us with Him. This is not because He has to...He wants this! He wants us! He calls us according to His desire for us, but asks us to answer His desire by drawing near to Him in the ways and places He has called us.

Think about this for a second...why did God create Adam? Why Eve? Then why only them in His image? Did He just want diversity of created things to just pedal around the earth or did He have intention, purpose, plan for us to do something with Him that nothing else in all of creation could ever do? He is making us hungry for being with Him again. We are invaluable to Him, because He made us to be invaluable. We have a role and a part to play and He is passionate to include us in the execution of His purposes in the world. So He has given us hunger to cause us to arise and press into some our most vulnerable fears, wounds and lack to reach for Him. O let us grow only more hungry for the gifts that He alone can give. The revelation of our beauty, the power to overcome, faith to experience Him in powerful ways. Our escort to satisfaction, faith and encounters we most long for...His hand upon us, His voice in our ear, is found in hungering for Him beyond anything else in this world.

So here is the promise we cling to. Thank you God.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matt. 5:6

Welcome to our Blog!

Hello All who may find this and read it!

This blog is place designated to keep up with the current news and thoughts of Aaron and Joy Phillips. We are excited for the journey the Lord has put us on and we want include as many as will come along with us.

This is such a great hour of history to join into the plan of God and be before His face to search Him out. These writings will be from the everyday, but also will be some of the overflow of what God has put upon our hearts. We believe one of our greatest roles in Christ's kingdom is to strengthen and build His Bride. There is such hope, power and grace to be found right now. We want to be part of the company of people that captures it and gives it away for the Body to built and established until Christ returns.

Welcome to our letters from the journey!

- A & J

The Value of the Human Life

Ps. 139 speaks of the intimate knowledge and the woven, merciful care God has given to each and every person. He has known us from before our conception and has a vision for our lives that penetrates eternity. This is our great God that we serve! He has a redemptive plan to draw all men to Himself and will be faithful to complete it entirely. If this is what our God is like, as His image-bearers, this must be our same vision. “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” 1 John 4:11

We live out of the revelation of the nature of God we have seen. Thus to truly have godly love and value for others we must behold how great His love is for us. Jesus was never so distracted by the immaturity of His disciples, or their lack in being great men of God, that He no longer called them into who they were meant to be. We want those eyes like Jesus to see, think about, speak to and fight for destinies those around us like He does for us! From the unborn child, to our closest friends, to the most hardened sinner, we are called to exemplify the very nature of God we have received. God has created mankind to be a kingdom of worshippers and lovers of His name. We are given the charge to call one another forth according to this destiny in God. We get to plant seeds of hope and true redeeming love by the power of the Spirit in those around us. Let us ask God for eyes of redemptive faith to bring others into the great, hidden worth of their lives as God sees them.